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Relative with dementia, advice required please



happypig

Staring at the rude boys
May 23, 2009
7,935
Eastbourne
If the hospital have made a deprivation of liberty order then Social Services should should be involved so worth speaking to the social worker who is dealing (bear in mind that social workers are, in my experience, a pain to deal with and some of them have to be badgered to do anything)
 


LamieRobertson

Not awoke
Feb 3, 2008
46,487
SHOREHAM BY SEA
If the hospital have made a deprivation of liberty order then Social Services should should be involved so worth speaking to the social worker who is dealing (bear in mind that social workers are, in my experience, a pain to deal with and some of them have to be badgered to do anything)

Yes there should be a social worker involved and I'm happy to say my experience re my mothers one was good
 


Thunder Bolt

Ordinary Supporter
If the hospital have made a deprivation of liberty order then Social Services should should be involved so worth speaking to the social worker who is dealing (bear in mind that social workers are, in my experience, a pain to deal with and some of them have to be badgered to do anything)

I think badgered is a mild term. They need to be nagged and nagged constantly. It's unfair, because they have a heavy workload, but it seems to be the case that those who shout loudest get the most done.
 


Shropshire Seagull

Well-known member
Nov 5, 2004
8,477
Telford
I know, hindsight and all that .....
I recall there was a thread on here some while back regarding the differences between enduring power of attorney [old] and lasting power of attorney [new] which changed in 2007.
Seem to recall a real financial meltdown for a family when hubby was vegetated whilst out riding a bike one day and wife / kids were cash hamstrung until they switched off the life support machine 18 months later. Won't change anything for [MENTION=16843]Hillian1[/MENTION] but recall some good advice on the thread ....

Never had the misfortune to be in such a position - hope it works out for you.
Sad how commonsense seems to fly out the window in these situations.
Good Luck.
 


NSC is truly a power for good, thank you everyone who has replied.

I was at my wit's end, and you have given myself and my wife renewd hope.

Bless you all.

PS, sorry for being such an arse in much of my postings.
 




Perhaps start with a visit to a branch of her bank that is local to you. Find out from them what it is in terms of documentation that they would accept to allow you to act. Also, if you have home insurance there's a good chance you pay for legal protection which normally includes a fee advice line.

Yes, yes I have.

Just looked at the bank details and I am indeed covered for legal advice on our insurance.

Thank you.
 


Soulman

New member
Oct 22, 2012
10,966
Sompting
Yes, yes I have.

Just looked at the bank details and I am indeed covered for legal advice on our insurance.

Thank you.

Things are looking brighter eh. Monday can not come soon enough. To actually see and deal with people face to face is far better than being fobbed off on the phone. As i said previously i feel a visit to your local branch in person and chatting with possibly the manager, will set you on the right track, at least it gets it logged.
 


BLOCK F

Well-known member
Feb 26, 2009
6,317
this ..........and contact Age concern, someone there will know the law and what and what not to do,
locally I have heard the same story she tried a AC and they sorted a lot of it but tread carefully
fortunately things have changed, my Mum was admitted to a psychiatric hospital (they did in those days)
be lucky

Glasfryn, I agree. Age Concern were extremely helpful to us when my mother developed Alzheimers and they sent someone round to help with the tricky paperwork when we were sorting out Attendance Allowance claim.
 




BLOCK F

Well-known member
Feb 26, 2009
6,317
NSC is truly a power for good, thank you everyone who has replied.

I was at my wit's end, and you have given myself and my wife renewd hope.

Bless you all.

PS, sorry for being such an arse in much of my postings.

Hillian, good luck with the legal process.
We encountered some problems with banks when we had a POA for my mother and I dare say the Court of Protection business may well be fraught with bureaucratic obstacles.
I hope all goes well.

P.S.As I said to Glasfryn, we found Age Concern very helpful.
 


If the hospital have made a deprivation of liberty order then Social Services should should be involved so worth speaking to the social worker who is dealing (bear in mind that social workers are, in my experience, a pain to deal with and some of them have to be badgered to do anything)


So far, in 6 weeks, she has had 3 Social workers.
The first one went on maternity leave, the second retired two weeks later and the third one who we met at the hospital had not met her before that day and had only read the notes that morning. She is only temporary too.
 


Saladpack Seagull

Just Shut Up and Paddle
Can't add much to what's been said. I was going to suggest contacting the social worker who actually works at the hospital, rather than the local authority ones, but I suppose you'll get the same outcome. When all the financial stuff has died down and you're looking for help with the dementia itself, please post again, when I might be of more help, as this is what I do for a job at the sharp end in a specialist dementia setting. I look on dementia in all its forms as the Great Thief - robbing everyone concerned of the life and relationships they should be having, and I don't just mean the poor soul who has it. I hope all works out well for the lady concerned in this post and more especially for those who love her and are faced by such an unfair and indiscriminate circumstance.
 




Spanish Seagulls

Well-known member
Nov 18, 2007
2,914
Ladbroke Grove
I am in a similar situation, Dementia is such a multi headed beast. I wish you well & hope you have the support network you need & deserve for taking this on. The shame of modern day society is that many sufferers of dementia will be abandoned or just put into a "Care Home"

It's an emotive issue & an issue that will be so different for so many people, it is not a disease that can be predicted.
 


Can't add much to what's been said. I was going to suggest contacting the social worker who actually works at the hospital, rather than the local authority ones, but I suppose you'll get the same outcome. When all the financial stuff has died down and you're looking for help with the dementia itself, please post again, when I might be of more help, as this is what I do for a job at the sharp end in a specialist dementia setting. I look on dementia in all its forms as the Great Thief - robbing everyone concerned of the life and relationships they should be having, and I don't just mean the poor soul who has it. I hope all works out well for the lady concerned in this post and more especially for those who love her and are faced by such an unfair and indiscriminate circumstance.

PM sent.
 






Just got it this morning. Have sent reply in the affirmative but as I'm a bit of a duffer with computer comms I can't be sure it will get to you!

Got a blank PM, but thanks for responding.

I'm sure I will be in touch when we know more.

Thanks.
 


AmexRuislip

Trainee Spy 🕵️‍♂️
Feb 2, 2014
33,727
Ruislip
I would go to the CAB to get advice and ask them to talk to Social Services. The whole financial thing will need to be sorted out especially if she is going into residential care.
Fortunately my brother had sorted out POA, just before my Mum collapsed and was admitted to hospital.


Hi, I've just been reading your post, with regards to family members being effected by Dementia or Alzheimer's.
My mum has been having symptoms for the latter.
It's been getting worse over the last week or so, hopefully a Dr' s visit tomorrow, will give more insight, on what steps are to be taken.
I'm guessing there's a long year ahead :)
 


portslade seagull

Well-known member
Jul 19, 2003
17,588
portslade
Yes, the deputy thing is where we are going next, but that can take months and we need to sort something quickly.

It's ironic really that 15 of the dd's are charities she always gave to.

Can the bank not cancel the DD's or maybe if you send a letter explaining to said charities Aunt's illness. Would be rather callous of them to keep taking the money
 


happypig

Staring at the rude boys
May 23, 2009
7,935
Eastbourne
Hi, I've just been reading your post, with regards to family members being effected by Dementia or Alzheimer's.
My mum has been having symptoms for the latter.
It's been getting worse over the last week or so, hopefully a Dr' s visit tomorrow, will give more insight, on what steps are to be taken.
I'm guessing there's a long year ahead :)

If they don't do it as a matter of course, insist on a check for a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI), old folks are prone to them and it can make them very confused.
 




AmexRuislip

Trainee Spy 🕵️‍♂️
Feb 2, 2014
33,727
Ruislip
If they don't do it as a matter of course, insist on a check for a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI), old folks are prone to them and it can make them very confused.

Cheers for that, it's been getting to the stage, where she doesn't recognise my dad!
 





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