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Bell Cheeses at work



FamilyGuy

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2003
2,381
Crawley
A good example of the difference between management and leadership. I so despise people like that. Hope he doesn’t drive good people away from your company and that you’ll all stand up to him. Definitely record the meetings.
one of the best lessons I ever learned was The difference between a manager and a leader is:

Managers say "do this" - whereas Leaders say "let's do this".
 




Stat Brother

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
73,667
West west west Sussex
What type of industry are you in?
Food production.

Apparently the fella in question came back into work the next day and had to be told:-

'no we fired you yesterday'.
 




Bodian

Well-known member
May 3, 2012
11,805
Cumbria
Yes, like an STD 🤦‍♂️. Thanks for reaching out to me
A lady at our place has arrived full of 'reaching out', and other such bollocks.

She asked me yesterday if I had 'reached out to x,y,z'. I replied that I hadn't 'reached out' to anybody. Followed by a decent length pause. Then added 'however, I've chatted to x,y,z and they're all okay with the proposal'.
 






Sirnormangall

Well-known member
Sep 21, 2017
2,967
A lady at our place has arrived full of 'reaching out', and other such bollocks.

She asked me yesterday if I had 'reached out to x,y,z'. I replied that I hadn't 'reached out' to anybody. Followed by a decent length pause. Then added 'however, I've chatted to x,y,z and they're all okay with the proposal'.
Well done - that’s a very polite way to say feck off.
 


Paulie Gualtieri

Bada Bing
NSC Patron
May 8, 2018
9,211
A lady at our place has arrived full of 'reaching out', and other such bollocks.

She asked me yesterday if I had 'reached out to x,y,z'. I replied that I hadn't 'reached out' to anybody. Followed by a decent length pause. Then added 'however, I've chatted to x,y,z and they're all okay with the proposal'.
How modern, a female mafia capo.

Assume X,Y,Z are friends of ours?
 


South Stand Bonfire

Who lit that match then?
NSC Patron
Jan 24, 2009
2,198
Shoreham-a-la-mer
I attended a 1 hour lunchtime Webinar today on the Procurement Act 2023. Oh F@@@ me, I don’t even know where to begin. Although you’ll be glad to know there are plenty of deep dives arranged if you need more detail. 🤿
 






South Stand Bonfire

Who lit that match then?
NSC Patron
Jan 24, 2009
2,198
Shoreham-a-la-mer

🤷🏻‍♂️

LEVEL SET​

If you were pitching a script in Hollywood, you’d likely put some importance on the backstory. That is, the history, events, and important character information that take place before the first page of your script.

Without a solid backstory, most scripts would wander aimlessly through their 90+ pages.

Understanding the backstory is important for someone considering your script, though it’s something the audience of the finished work will likely never know existed – they’ll just catch up as the film unfolds.

For some reason, annoying managers often believe the rest of us need to understand every backstory before we can move forward with the work at hand. They’ll tell us they want to level set everyone before discussing the meat of the project/issue/meeting/opportunity.

Level set is a lazy, annoying cliché; and its usage is growing.

Unfortunately, the most common replacement phrases for this one are equally lazy and even more cliché. For example, get on the same page and bring everyone up to speed are probably the closest alternatives in meaning to level set; yet, both are, of course, equally nauseating.

During your next meeting, instead of feeling compelled to level set everyone in the room, try simply telling the story in the present tense (like any good movie), and give your team credit that they are smart enough to catch up.
 


kevo

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2008
9,094
HR people or rather 'people people' must surely contain the highest proportion of bell-cheeses.

Today we had a massive email about how to fill in our annual appraisals.

This involves:

An in-depth self-evaluation of your performance
Addressing last year's five goals and whether you achieved them.
An assessment of what action you have taken to embody the company's four key values, each of which contains about ten bullet points you are meant to address (all the values have wanky names such as 'master of your craft').
Providing candid feedback on all other members of your team, which they can see (a terrible idea).
Setting at least five goals for the forthcoming year.
How you think you performed overall.


A lot of people in our company have fairly menial jobs and we are all badly underpaid.

We are also extremely busy but are expected to find a couple of days to complete this utter nonsense.

Honestly, these people are stealing a living.
 
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South Stand Bonfire

Who lit that match then?
NSC Patron
Jan 24, 2009
2,198
Shoreham-a-la-mer
HR people or rather 'people people' must surely contain the highest proportion of bell-cheeses.

Today we had a massive email about how to fill in our annual appraisals.

This involves:

An in-depth self-evaluation of your performance
Addressing last year's five goals and whether you achieved them.
An assessment of what action you have taken to embody the company's four key values, each of which contains about ten bullet points you are meant to address (all the values have wanky names such as 'master of your craft').
Providing candid feedback on other members of your team, which they can see (a terrible idea).
Setting at least five goals for the forthcoming year.
How you think you performed overall.


A lot of people in our company have fairly meanial jobs and we are all badly underpaid.

We are also extremely busy but are expected to find a couple of days to complete this utter nonsense.

Honestly, these people are stealing a living.
That’s awful, but if it assists, post your proposed appraisal response here before you submit it and we’ll give it a constructive deep dive review 👍
 








schmunk

"Members"
Jan 19, 2018
9,496
Mid mid mid Sussex

🤷🏻‍♂️

LEVEL SET​

If you were pitching a script in Hollywood, you’d likely put some importance on the backstory. That is, the history, events, and important character information that take place before the first page of your script.

Without a solid backstory, most scripts would wander aimlessly through their 90+ pages.

Understanding the backstory is important for someone considering your script, though it’s something the audience of the finished work will likely never know existed – they’ll just catch up as the film unfolds.

For some reason, annoying managers often believe the rest of us need to understand every backstory before we can move forward with the work at hand. They’ll tell us they want to level set everyone before discussing the meat of the project/issue/meeting/opportunity.

Level set is a lazy, annoying cliché; and its usage is growing.

Unfortunately, the most common replacement phrases for this one are equally lazy and even more cliché. For example, get on the same page and bring everyone up to speed are probably the closest alternatives in meaning to level set; yet, both are, of course, equally nauseating.

During your next meeting, instead of feeling compelled to level set everyone in the room, try simply telling the story in the present tense (like any good movie), and give your team credit that they are smart enough to catch up.
It feels like you got SarkyGPT to write this for you.
 












Weststander

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Aug 25, 2011
63,938
Withdean area
So glad that I work for myself, 11 years free from zzzzzzz internal meetings, politics, backstabbers, bootlickers who are actually sh1t at their profession but stay long hours to garner respect, bullying owner-managers with a Victorian master-slave mindset, unfairness and double standards, silly stuff like taking the creeps on long lunches.
 


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