Super Steve Earle
Well-known member
Reorganised as the limerick you so nearly typed. Bit more rhyming please next time.
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Bell Cheeses at work
- Thread starter Iggle Piggle
- Start date
Reorganised as the limerick you so nearly typed. Bit more rhyming please next time.
Well, we'll have another stab at replacing NOISE in the coming weeks, and pray to god, she or he, doesn't provide too much content for this thread!
Wrong-Direction
Well-known member
- Mar 10, 2013
- 13,415
I have to say that I’m a bit disappointed with you. You shouldn’t be restricting your future coworker to gender binary pronouns.....
....I’ve missed CRISPS
Fignon's Ponytail
Well-known member
A long time ago I wrote here about someone who basically refused to come in to the office during the pandemic, but did eventually get back to 3 & then 4 days a week.
Roll forward a few months...& in March this year we were all told that 4 day weeks would be coming to an end, and work hours would be back to normal...EXCEPT for this one person who is still, to this day, on a 4 day week - with Fridays WFH.
The weekend before last we had a COVID outbreak at work. 4 members of staff, inc. the boss were absent. The "Part timer" did his usual 4 day week (locked in his office on his own), but failed to show up this Monday just gone...and hasn't been in all week. Turns out he was told he could WFH this week after last weeks outbreak - despite everyone staying away, now testing negative, & being back at work etc.
You can imagine the bad feeling its caused amongst everyone, especially as he basically gets an extra A/L day every week of the year - & has a long weekend every week when some of the guys in the factory are still doing 6 day weeks.
You couldn't make this sh1t up.
Roll forward a few months...& in March this year we were all told that 4 day weeks would be coming to an end, and work hours would be back to normal...EXCEPT for this one person who is still, to this day, on a 4 day week - with Fridays WFH.
The weekend before last we had a COVID outbreak at work. 4 members of staff, inc. the boss were absent. The "Part timer" did his usual 4 day week (locked in his office on his own), but failed to show up this Monday just gone...and hasn't been in all week. Turns out he was told he could WFH this week after last weeks outbreak - despite everyone staying away, now testing negative, & being back at work etc.
You can imagine the bad feeling its caused amongst everyone, especially as he basically gets an extra A/L day every week of the year - & has a long weekend every week when some of the guys in the factory are still doing 6 day weeks.
You couldn't make this sh1t up.
I got promoted to manager at my company about a year ago. My company was a startup with about 120 people and the structure was kind of ad-hoc, with managers just dealing with things specific to the team and the odd bit of HR. A nice way of working and not too much bullsh*t to deal with.
In April we got bought by a big company known mainly for anti-virus software. They're based in Prague, so have a kind of relaxed, easy-going approach to work. It was definitely an adjustment to be working for a big company again, but we were really just left to get on with our own thing.
Now, we've been taken over by a certain, giant anti-virus company based in the US. I just attended a meeting titled "People Leader Roundtable" and I logged in to the Zoom call to be greeted by motivational music. Kill me now.
In April we got bought by a big company known mainly for anti-virus software. They're based in Prague, so have a kind of relaxed, easy-going approach to work. It was definitely an adjustment to be working for a big company again, but we were really just left to get on with our own thing.
Now, we've been taken over by a certain, giant anti-virus company based in the US. I just attended a meeting titled "People Leader Roundtable" and I logged in to the Zoom call to be greeted by motivational music. Kill me now.
Update:
The second replacement for NOISE is two weeks in. 30-something Argentinian lady, who seems completely inoffensive so far.
However, just as that role is getting settled, CRISPS, dismayed at actually having to do some work once noise left, has now handed in HER notice, and now I have to start interviewing for that one too.
Won't miss her a bit, but its still a f***ing ballache. Two new admins at the same time, means the place is going to go to shit! FFS.
Sirnormangall
Well-known member
- Sep 21, 2017
- 2,963
Don’t prejudge them - simply reach out, salute what they put up the flag pole and look forward to the first scrum meeting.
Barnet Seagull
Luxury Player
And remember, people are our biggest asset.
Are you going to throw in an icebreaker question along the lines of "what would be your ideal snack?" Just to root out any crisp crunchers and yoghurt slurpers.
To be fair, we've been doing scrum for years. The difference being, we ignored most of the bullsh*t you were supposed to do and just got on with the work and avoided too many meaningless meetings. That all seems to have gone out of the window now. My calendar is full of meetings such as "Team refinement session" and "Team retrospective".
I'm also supposed to fill in a weekly status update form for senior managers to monitor our progress. This form consists of 26 questions such as "How is the squad’s morale? What can we do to positively affect morale?"
I ate a bag of roast beef Hula Hoops in the office yesterday, and in my head, it sounded like Concorde crashing into a saucepan factory. Despite diligently scoffing with my mouth closed, I still probably sounded like a dinosaur eating a tree. Fortunately I'm of an age now where I don't really care.
Easy 10, Top wordcraftery.
Easy 10, Top wordcraftery.
In response to the reaching out bollox, I asked one of my team yesterday to Four Tops a client. He got there in the end.
Let me know when a new scrum master suddenly turns up out of the blue and uses a speech token at the daily.To be fair, we've been doing scrum for years. The difference being, we ignored most of the bullsh*t you were supposed to do and just got on with the work and avoided too many meaningless meetings. That all seems to have gone out of the window now. My calendar is full of meetings such as "Team refinement session" and "Team retrospective".
I'm also supposed to fill in a weekly status update form for senior managers to monitor our progress. This form consists of 26 questions such as "How is the squad’s morale? What can we do to positively affect morale?"
Cheshire Cat
The most curious thing..
At least you have two ready made interview questions.
What is your snack of choice? Stock answer -"the louder the better", preferably while chewing gum
How do you intend to further your career? Stock answer - "by driving your colleagues up the wall so they have to leave to maintain their sanity, until you and the weird bloke who asked this question are the only ones left"
- Jul 10, 2003
- 25,766
I love this thread, like a warm comfort blanket coming back to remind me why I retired 12 years ago (even I'm surprised it's been that long) from that absolute complete ****ing ****ocks of ****houseary know as 'the office'. Long may it continue 
- May 8, 2018
- 9,186
What’s your favourite decibel?
Cheshire Cat
The most curious thing..
Answers -To be fair, we've been doing scrum for years. The difference being, we ignored most of the bullsh*t you were supposed to do and just got on with the work and avoided too many meaningless meetings. That all seems to have gone out of the window now. My calendar is full of meetings such as "Team refinement session" and "Team retrospective".
I'm also supposed to fill in a weekly status update form for senior managers to monitor our progress. This form consists of 26 questions such as "How is the squad’s morale? What can we do to positively affect morale?"
- It's fantastic
- Absolutely nothing