Bell Cheeses at work

A1X · Feb 21, 2020

Someone KICKED OFF the other day because the hand cleanser dispensers on the wall (which I've never seen anyone use prior to this point) were empty. Unfortunately I have no idea if this was followed up by an email or phone call to the office facilities people.

Barham's tash · Feb 21, 2020

A1X said:
Someone KICKED OFF the other day because the hand cleanser dispensers on the wall (which I've never seen anyone use prior to this point) were empty. Unfortunately I have no idea if this was followed up by an email or phone call to the office facilities people.

They probably reached out...

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Cheshire Cat · Feb 21, 2020

Somebody thanked me today for "reaching out" to them after I sent them an email.

At no point did I use that phrase.

Lyndhurst 14 · Feb 21, 2020

Some of our consultants in NYC now call themselves 'mavens' which apparently means experts - or as we more commonly call them tossers.

There are also 'mezzanine directors' who are midway between regular and senior directors.

I feel an updated Bullshit Bingo card is now required.

Sirnormangall · Feb 21, 2020

Lyndhurst 14 said:
Some of our consultants in NYC now call themselves 'mavens' which apparently means experts - or as we more commonly call them tossers.

There are also 'mezzanine directors' who are midway between regular and senior directors.

I feel an updated Bullshit Bingo card is now required.

IMO the “Director” title is over-used and can mislead you into thinking you’re dealing with someone operating at a higher level than they are.

Stat Brother · Feb 22, 2020

In my honesty I've bellcheesed myself.

Mon/Tues holiday - feeling a little rough.
Wed/Thurs day off - ditto.
Fri - called in sick.
Today - back to work.

My boss said 'oh I wasn't expecting you back so I signed you off paid sick for the weekend'.

Arrrggggghhhhhhhhh - SHIT.

Sirnormangall · Feb 22, 2020

Stat Brother said:
In my honesty I've bellcheesed myself.

Mon/Tues holiday - feeling a little rough.
Wed/Thurs day off - ditto.
Fri - called in sick.
Today - back to work.

My boss said 'oh I wasn't expecting you back so I signed you off paid sick for the weekend'.

Arrrggggghhhhhhhhh - SHIT.

You need to start a new thread or retitle this one: Bell cheeses NOT at work

timbha · Feb 22, 2020

Sirnormangall said:
You need to start a new thread or retitle this one: Bell cheeses NOT at work

Or just

BELLENDS

Jaxie · Feb 22, 2020

Had an absolute wally start working with us early in the new year. He only lasted a few weeks. Anyway he was keen on tattoos, and had done some of his own ink. On his FACE he had tattooed the number 12. But as he’d done it with the use of a mirror, he had done it back to front.

Sirnormangall · Feb 22, 2020

timbha said:
Or just

BELLENDS

Good idea, but if you broaden it beyond the work place I doubt that I’ll be able to keep up with the number of posts.

Zamo25 · Feb 27, 2020

Every time you tell some one at work you are on annual leave and the immediate office response is....

"Oooohhhhh welll who approved that?!?!?!"

Oh £uck offfffffffffffffffffff!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dazzer6666 · Feb 27, 2020

Zamo25 said:
Every time you tell some one at work you are on annual leave and the immediate office response is....

"Oooohhhhh welll who approved that?!?!?!"

Oh £uck offfffffffffffffffffff!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Was discussing annual leave with one former boss a few years ago in the context of it approaching year-end and I wasn’t sure when I was going to take my few remaining days.......

‘Oooh, you actually take ALL your annual leave, do you ?’

‘Yes you fvckwit, do you take ALL your salary ?’

schmunk · Feb 27, 2020

Jaxie said:
Had an absolute wally start working with us early in the new year. He only lasted a few weeks. Anyway he was keen on tattoos, and had done some of his own ink. On his FACE he had tattooed the number 12. But as he’d done it with the use of a mirror, he had done it back to front.

Sounds pretty fly, for a white guy.

happypig · Feb 27, 2020

dazzer6666 said:
Was discussing annual leave with one former boss a few years ago in the context of it approaching year-end and I wasn’t sure when I was going to take my few remaining days.......

‘Oooh, you actually take ALL your annual leave, do you ?’

‘Yes you fvckwit, do you take ALL your salary ?’

I used to work with a feller who was absolutely obsessed with earning money in order to save it for "something"; he was married, no kids, no mortgage, drove an old Astra and his wife earned as much as him. They didn't drink/smoke/gamble and never went on holiday.
He did all the overtime he could.
We called him "Neverspend"

Anyways....

One year, due to staff shortages, a few people had difficulty getting leave. The company recruited but also said that they would buy back any outstanding leave; Neverspend was cock-a-hoop.

The following year he only took one week leave and kept saying "They'll buy it back again". He was told on several occasions that they wouldn't but he kept the faith.

Come February he was called in to see the boss. He was like a dog with two cocks; "here it come's lads, four weeks leave bought back".

The boss said to him, "you've got five weeks leave outstanding, you can carry one over to next year. You are now on leave for the next four weeks"

He was incandescent, the rest of us were guffawing wildly. He rang the union for advice and was told he should have taken it earlier.

To cap it all, it pissed down all through March.

marcos3263 · Feb 27, 2020

happypig said:
I used to work with a feller who was absolutely obsessed with earning money in order to save it for "something"; he was married, no kids, no mortgage, drove an old Astra and his wife earned as much as him. They didn't drink/smoke/gamble and never went on holiday.
He did all the overtime he could.
We called him "Neverspend"

Anyways....

One year, due to staff shortages, a few people had difficulty getting leave. The company recruited but also said that they would buy back any outstanding leave; Neverspend was cock-a-hoop.

The following year he only took one week leave and kept saying "They'll buy it back again". He was told on several occasions that they wouldn't but he kept the faith.

Come February he was called in to see the boss. He was like a dog with two cocks; "here it come's lads, four weeks leave bought back".

The boss said to him, "you've got five weeks leave outstanding, you can carry one over to next year. You are now on leave for the next four weeks"

He was incandescent, the rest of us were guffawing wildly. He rang the union for advice and was told he should have taken it earlier.

To cap it all, it pissed down all through March.

Sounds like Neverspend enjoyed the company of prostitutes..............

Publius Ovidius · Feb 27, 2020

Holidays are a strange one. Our US colleagues get on average 12 to 15 days a year and in the UK the basic is 25 and France 35 days. It pisses the us off so when someone found out as I have been there 20 years, I get an extra 10 days for next year giving me 35 days.

My colleagues are alarmed as I have been booking loads of holidays next year and I was contacted by someone who said that if I respected my colleagues I would limit my holidays ...duck off was the answer.

dazzer6666 · Feb 27, 2020

Publius Ovidius said:
Holidays are a strange one. Our US colleagues get on average 12 to 15 days a year and in the UK the basic is 25 and France 35 days. It pisses the us off so when someone found out as I have been there 20 years, I get an extra 10 days for next year giving me 35 days.

My colleagues are alarmed as I have been booking loads of holidays next year and I was contacted by someone who said that if I respected my colleagues I would limit my holidays ...duck off was the answer.

...and the 100% correct answer. I get 30 days as standard, but buy another 5 under our ‘flexible benefits’ scheme. Always have a few to carry over as well so typically start the year with about 40 (plus public holidays). Still not enough [emoji23][emoji23]

dazzer6666 · Feb 27, 2020

marcos3263 said:
Sounds like Neverspend enjoyed the company of prostitutes..............

Like this perhaps [emoji23][emoji23]

Lyndhurst 14 · Feb 27, 2020

Publius Ovidius said:
Holidays are a strange one. Our US colleagues get on average 12 to 15 days a year and in the UK the basic is 25 and France 35 days. It pisses the us off so when someone found out as I have been there 20 years, I get an extra 10 days for next year giving me 35 days.

My colleagues are alarmed as I have been booking loads of holidays next year and I was contacted by someone who said that if I respected my colleagues I would limit my holidays ...duck off was the answer.

As a British company operating in the States we offer 20 days basic plus Summer Fridays, another 12 half days - so 26 in total. This is quite a powerful incentive when recruiting as a lot of the Americans we hire have been on 10 days or so with previous American companies.

When we tell them an 18 year old starting work in the UK will typically get 25 days when he / she starts they are gobsmacked.

timbha · Feb 27, 2020

Publius Ovidius said:
Holidays are a strange one. Our US colleagues get on average 12 to 15 days a year and in the UK the basic is 25 and France 35 days. It pisses the us off so when someone found out as I have been there 20 years, I get an extra 10 days for next year giving me 35 days.

My colleagues are alarmed as I have been booking loads of holidays next year and I was contacted by someone who said that if I respected my colleagues I would limit my holidays ...duck off was the answer.

Do the French get an additional 10 days after 20 years? If so 45 days plus BHs, Strike days and sickies would amount to about 12 weeks, ie a week per month.!!!

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