Bob'n'weave
Well-known member
There is a way of extracting cyanide from raw, untreated bitter almonds. Just saying.
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Bell Cheeses at work
- Thread starter Iggle Piggle
- Start date
There is a way of extracting cyanide from raw, untreated bitter almonds. Just saying.
Give us a small clue, or is this a yes/no game?
If the latter, I'll go first. Does it involve a graduate trainee who thinks they know everything?
happypig
Staring at the rude boys
A Consultant ?
TheJasperCo
Well-known member
Oh so-so much worse. With that, you can just put earphones in and ignore them. This, this is inescapable.
Close, along the lines of previous fitness-related gripes on this thread. Now, reverse the genders and think "on-site gym".
Using various bits of office equipment to develop a routine, which inevitably involves loud grunting, sly glances at any mirrors between sets and noisy consumption of a post-workout protein shake (with full but entirely appropriate 'wa***r' hand motions to mix it) and constant reference to how long he can plank ?
TheJasperCo
Well-known member
Oh he uses bits of office equipment all right, and he's developed a routine for it. But not what you might expect.
Worse, because unlike your post, this isn't even ironically funny.
Cian
Well-known member
Someone has left some bell cheese on the furniture?
I'm guessing he's a sweaty mess after doing his "workout" and has to deal with this problem in some way...
or
He does some kind of stretching routine involving his desk chair.
Brian Fantana
Well-known member
Absolutely this.
He's far too important to leave his desk for even a nanosecond in case some earth-shatteringly important email comes in.
TheJasperCo
Well-known member
First one.
Further clues are: modern office where the windows cannot be opened; modern office that is too small; and a radiator that strangely enough is always "on" when the weather is at its mildest outside.
Multiply that by a factor of Lycra and damp towels and you can do the maths. Let's just say, I never did think it was possible to have all your senses violated until recently.
Oh dear. So are we talking full gym kit and towel being draped over every radiator in the office?
What you need is a fire safety bell cheese to rectify the problem.
Agreed. Towels and especially lycra on hot radiators is DEFINITELY a fire risk.
In fact, I'd advocate improving the ventilation too, by propping the office door open with a fire extinguisher. That should get FSBC into action pretty sharp.
Oh Jesus no......just wrong. Wear rubber gloves, put it in a plastic bag and chuck it. Every time he does it.
I took the liberty of taking Tesco's up on their 4 Easter Eggs for £6 last week. At £1.50 an egg, thought it was quite a good deal.
I ate two (sharing them with my work colleagues) and left two in the work fridge for this week.
Came in this morning to find that one of them has been "lifted". Whilst the money is, naturally, not a problem, it's the damn principle of the thing.
We have an egg thief!!!!
I ate two (sharing them with my work colleagues) and left two in the work fridge for this week.
Came in this morning to find that one of them has been "lifted". Whilst the money is, naturally, not a problem, it's the damn principle of the thing.
We have an egg thief!!!!
Tricky situation. Obviously the FATTY who stole the eggs is a Grade A BELL CHEESE. However, don't be tempted to send out an email, or put notes in the kitchen about not stealing people's food, otherwise you'll stray into the BC category yourself.
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Somebody does at my place. Happened again this morning, walked into one of the traps and the bowl completely stuffed with bog roll.