Bell Cheeses at work

Uncle Buck · May 24, 2017

Badger said:
That's a top quality, passive-aggressive email. Particularly liking the sarcastic "borrowed" in quotes.

If you could somehow coordinate everyone in the company replying and claiming responsibility, that would be tremendous.

To be fair, this particular creature takes pride in send company wide emails about people using tea towels as clothes and not filling the kettle up.

So this special has just caused a lot of sneering.

Uncle Buck · May 24, 2017

This was another classic, but was not sent to all, just those she suspected;

Dear All,

A question….would you really leave your kitchen at home in such a mess……? Regardless of any significant other you may have, I think not, so why would you dump spoons and crockery in the sink for someone else to wash up…..

Stop being lazy and wash up your own used items.

No-one is here to baby or mother any of you….

The red towels are for wiping up crockery and utensils NOT for wiping the work surfaces down, that’s why the J cloths were bought, or for drying your hands

Also, please refill the kettles and turn on, this saves time for the next person making around…

You all know who’s responsible, so please whoever has left the mugs and added over the last 2 days the spoons, please go and wash them up and when dry put in the black mug by the plugs, thank you.

I know I’ve been here only 5 weeks, and it would be nice not to nag and have clean stuff to use every day, so thank you in anticipation of your co-operation.

Papa Lazarou · May 24, 2017

Uncle Buck said:
This was another classic, but was not sent to all, just those she suspected;

Dear All,

A question….would you really leave your kitchen at home in such a mess……? Regardless of any significant other you may have, I think not, so why would you dump spoons and crockery in the sink for someone else to wash up…..

Stop being lazy and wash up your own used items.

No-one is here to baby or mother any of you….

The red towels are for wiping up crockery and utensils NOT for wiping the work surfaces down, that’s why the J cloths were bought, or for drying your hands

Also, please refill the kettles and turn on, this saves time for the next person making around…

You all know who’s responsible, so please whoever has left the mugs and added over the last 2 days the spoons, please go and wash them up and when dry put in the black mug by the plugs, thank you.

I know I’ve been here only 5 weeks, and it would be nice not to nag and have clean stuff to use every day, so thank you in anticipation of your co-operation.

F88k me, only there 5 weeks, and sending THAT?!?

How to make friends.

There's huge potential to wind her up massively

Uncle Buck · May 24, 2017

Papa Lazarou said:
F88k me, only there 5 weeks, and sending THAT?!?

How to make friends.

There's huge potential to wind her up massively

The problem with that is, it means interacting with them as I try and talk to nobody here all the time, that becomes an issue.

Papa Lazarou · May 24, 2017

Uncle Buck said:
The problem with that is, it means interacting with them as I try and talk to nobody here all the time, that becomes an issue.

You don't need to talk to perform the wind-up... let your actions speak louder than words.

Martlet · May 24, 2017

We've just had the results of our annual staff survey through. Apparently, as leaders of the business, we need to spend more time "reimagining the possible".

Needless to say, I've decided to cancel my next three client meetings to free up some serious reimagining time......

hans kraay fan club · May 24, 2017

Papa Lazarou said:
F88k me, only there 5 weeks, and sending THAT?!?

How to make friends.

There's huge potential to wind her up massively

Indeed. What an absolute tw4t.

And what's this 'please fill and turn on the kettles' for the next person. How dreadfully WASTEFUL. What if nobody wants tea in the following few minutes? Waste of energy and company money, not to mention your environmental footprint. I say you should have her sacked immediately.

hans kraay fan club · May 24, 2017

Papa Lazarou said:
You don't need to talk to perform the wind-up... let your actions speak louder than words.

That.

You can spell out her name in the sink, with used teabags. that ought to do it.

Badger · May 24, 2017

Uncle Buck said:
This was another classic, but was not sent to all, just those she suspected;

Dear All,

A question….would you really leave your kitchen at home in such a mess……? Regardless of any significant other you may have, I think not, so why would you dump spoons and crockery in the sink for someone else to wash up…..

Stop being lazy and wash up your own used items.

No-one is here to baby or mother any of you….

The red towels are for wiping up crockery and utensils NOT for wiping the work surfaces down, that’s why the J cloths were bought, or for drying your hands

Also, please refill the kettles and turn on, this saves time for the next person making around…

You all know who’s responsible, so please whoever has left the mugs and added over the last 2 days the spoons, please go and wash them up and when dry put in the black mug by the plugs, thank you.

I know I’ve been here only 5 weeks, and it would be nice not to nag and have clean stuff to use every day, so thank you in anticipation of your co-operation.

I assume your work kitchen is PLASTERED with laminated "reminder" signs?

Uncle Buck · May 24, 2017

Badger said:
I assume your work kitchen is PLASTERED with laminated "reminder" signs?

Yes, as are the meeting rooms, loos and so on.

Now we are getting boards about how to save money and help profit share.

Shame I have just signed a PO for a golf day....

hans kraay fan club · May 24, 2017

Uncle Buck said:
Now we are getting boards about how to save money and help profit share.

1. Stop wasting laminating sheets.
2. Stop wasting blu-tack
3. Stop turning the ****ing kettle on, just in case someone wants it, in a bit.
4. Stop wasting your work time writing stupid passive-aggressive nagging e-mails.
5. Stop wasting everyone else's work time by sending them to us all.
6. You tw4t

Uncle Buck · May 24, 2017

hans kraay fan club said:
1. Stop wasting laminating sheets.
2. Stop wasting blu-tack
3. Stop turning the ****ing kettle on, just in case someone wants it, in a bit.
4. Stop wasting your work time writing stupid passive-aggressive nagging e-mails.
5. Stop wasting everyone else's work time by sending them to us all.
6. You tw4t

Or just ignore as per normal.

Work from home as much as possible and come in to do expenses only...

Uncle Buck · May 25, 2017

Today's company wide email from resident loon;

Hi Chaps,

Please could you remember to wash any mugs or glasses used when you have guests, and not leave them in the sink for others to do…..

While you at it, wash the bloody spoons too!!

Uncle Buck · May 25, 2017

Also on margegate, the said item was thrown away as it had a best before date of June 2016.

She is currently on the phone to a customer (soon to be lapsed), saying she does not do best before dates.

BBassic · May 25, 2017

Uncle Buck said:
Today's company wide email from resident loon;

Hi Chaps,

Please could you remember to wash any mugs or glasses used when you have guests, and not leave them in the sink for others to do…..

While you at it, wash the bloody spoons too!!

Gotta say, I'm siding with the loon on this. It takes literally seconds to give your cup/plate/cutlery a quick rinse.

Uncle Buck · May 25, 2017

BBassic said:
Gotta say, I'm siding with the loon on this. It takes literally seconds to give your cup/plate/cutlery a quick rinse.

Yes, but she should have just told them to put the stuff in the dish water, rather than try and be the down trodden martyr.

BBassic · May 25, 2017

Uncle Buck said:
Yes, but she should have just told them to put the stuff in the dish water, rather than try and be the down trodden martyr.

Yep, that's true. Right, I'm jumping the fence again :thumbsup:

Gwylan · May 25, 2017

Uncle Buck said:
To be fair, this particular creature takes pride in send company wide emails about people using tea towels as clothes

I think you have to say more about this: how are people wearing tea towels? Are they being deployed as bandanas? As skirts? As scarves? I have visions of troupes of her fellow workers all strutting around the office with tea towels wrapped round them. I think you need to explain yourself

Uncle Buck · May 25, 2017

Gwylan said:
I think you have to say more about this: how are people wearing tea towels? Are they being deployed as bandanas? As skirts? As scarves? I have visions of troupes of her fellow workers all strutting around the office with tea towels wrapped round them. I think you need to explain yourself

I think the spelling mistake says all you need to know on this one.

Napper · May 25, 2017

Very noble to take responsibility of the kitchen but really !?

I honestly think if someone at my place started all that within 6 weeks of being here they would be odds on NOT to pass the probation period.

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Bell Cheeses at work

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The voice of reason.

The voice of reason.

NOT the Honey Badger

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I changed this.

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