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Son getting bullied at school



Goldstone Rapper

Goldstone Rapper

Rediffusion PlayerofYear
Jan 19, 2009
14,865
BN3 7DE
Berty23 said:
It is not a rough area at all. I live in Warwick. Apparently they have four little shits in his class. Sadly other schools are not really an option.

I could not believe what he was saying. They sound like 4 year old Krays. They hit him and then follow him calling him names. Most of names are kid insults like you smell of poo but then they call him square and tell him reading is for girls. He tried to walk away but they grab him and threaten him. He has not told me before because he is scared. Last week his teacher did tell us someone had hit him so now it is time to deal with it.

I do not remember any bullying as a kid until I was about 8 or 9. To start at four is terrible.
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What is the teacher doing to show recognition for those children's efforts in school?

It may not be easy to swallow, but the four children you speak of need as much support as your son. It doesn't help for you to relate to them as 'four little shits.' They were probably royally pissed off that your son got recognition for his reading and they didn't. They probably don't get recognised for many things and this is another piece of evidence to add to the pile. So how they are dealing with your son is part of how they are coping with the hurt they are feeling. It's their immature way of feeling powerful after feeling disempowered.

In the end, it's going to take them feeling validated and respected as learners and as people - and to be able to do this without hurting others - for this problem to be properly sorted.

I have enormous sympathy for your son. It must be so hard to go to school each day and not feel safe. At the same time, it is clear that those other children are not so lucky as to come from homes where learning is valued, and parents are responsive, as what your son enjoys.
 






tedebear

tedebear

Legal Alien
Jul 7, 2003
16,839
In my computer
Berty23 said:
My wife told me the other day that four sets of parents were called in because of issues with behaviour. I am going to ensure this is all followed up. Sadly I only do Monday drop off as I have work the rest of the week. I don't really know many of the other parents. It seems the school are aware of some issues so I am going to not let this lie until it is sorted.
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Sounds like a good course of action to keep at it with the school then. I would too, especially if it has already been brought to attention and nothing changes. It is the responsibility of the teachers who are monitoring play time to keep an eye on these things. If the parents have already been brought in then it appears the school are aware and something must happen. But most importantly talk to your son, or have your wife do it as soon as he gets home from school, and he's had a drink and a buscuit (they are always starving). Make sure he has an outlet when he's not tired to talk about it honestly and openly and get it off his chest, you can help him plan how he might avoid them too. Might make bedtimes easier until it gets sorted.
 


oldalbiongirl

oldalbiongirl

New member
Jun 25, 2011
802
T soprano said:
A 4 year old saying he's being bullied
"those boys wouldn't let me play with the broom broom cars "
Probably the scenario at that age
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You are so far away from the truth. At this age they can be deliberately digging their nails into another childs arms.
If they are a strong character (seen as a leader by others) they can be pinning another child in a corner to frighten them, deliberately taking toys off another child every time they try to play with something, name calling - ie saying things about their work/pictures/creations and getting others to laugh with them at the other childs expense, deliberately encouraging children to leave a certain child out. Its amazing but at this age, some have already learnt loads of horrible sophisticated behaviours that can really affect other childrens confidence. At this age though, it should be easier for a teacher to manage too.
 


B

Berty23

Well-known member
Jun 26, 2012
3,196
Goldstone Rapper said:
What is the teacher doing to show recognition for those children's efforts in school?

It may not be easy to swallow, but the four children you speak of need as much support as your son. It doesn't help for you to relate to them as 'four little shits.' They were probably royally pissed off that your son got recognition for his reading and they didn't. They probably don't get recognised for many things and this is another piece of evidence to add to the pile. So how they are dealing with your son is part of how they are coping with the hurt they are feeling. It's their immature way of feeling powerful after feeling disempowered.

In the end, it's going to take them feeling validated and respected as learners and as people - and to be able to do this without hurting others - for this problem to be properly sorted.

I have enormous sympathy for your son. It must be so hard to go to school each day and not feel safe. At the same time, it is clear that those other children are not so lucky as to come from homes where learning is valued, and parents are responsive, as what your son enjoys.
Click to expand...
That is all very true. It is the parents to blame. That is why this needs to be sorted now. Make the bully boys understand they can achieve something. One has school uniform much much to big and in tatters from an older sibling. Mum says uniform too expensive. She chain smokes. Uniform costs 5 quid two pair trousers 5 quid for 3 shirts And 7 for two jumpers. So full uniform for year cheaper than three packs of fags. The kid has no chance. Sad. Very very sad.
 






Psychobilly freakout

Psychobilly freakout

HellBilly
Feb 23, 2009
22,996
Brighton factually.....
Goldstone Rapper said:
What is the teacher doing to show recognition for those children's efforts in school?

It may not be easy to swallow, but the four children you speak of need as much support as your son. It doesn't help for you to relate to them as 'four little shits.' They were probably royally pissed off that your son got recognition for his reading and they didn't. They probably don't get recognised for many things and this is another piece of evidence to add to the pile. So how they are dealing with your son is part of how they are coping with the hurt they are feeling. It's their immature way of feeling powerful after feeling disempowered.

In the end, it's going to take them feeling validated and respected as learners and as people - and to be able to do this without hurting others - for this problem to be properly sorted.

I have enormous sympathy for your son. It must be so hard to go to school each day and not feel safe. At the same time, it is clear that those other children are not so lucky as to come from homes where learning is valued, and parents are responsive, as what your son enjoys.
Click to expand...

good post
 


Buzzer

Buzzer

Languidly Clinical
Oct 1, 2006
26,121
My eldest got bullied by some kids at his primary school a few years ago, he's an August child too so he was a lot smaller than these toe-rags. Unfortunately for us the head tried to talk the problem away at first and it was only our insistence that got results. Not all schools like to admit there is a problem, this was one such case.

A good source of info is mumsnet and I think you might be better posting this on there rather than here. My ex-wife found a lot of useful info on there and they do have a lot of excellent resources and a lot of it from experts - school governors, teachers, social workers, others who have had kids bullied.

Best of luck with it, it is the absolute worst thing I've had to deal with as a parent.
 




R

Raleigh Chopper

New member
Sep 1, 2011
12,054
Plymouth
My daughter was bullied at a young age at school but not as bad as mentioned. We approached the school and I confronted the parents and told them in no uncertain terms my thoughts on them as parents and their children.
The school were very good, however the answer lied in giving my child karate lessons, not so that she could kick and punch them from one side of the playground to the other, but it taught her so many things very early on in life.How to defend yourself, how to deal with bullying, how to walk away, how to think in situations, who not to talk to, respect for teachers and their elders, politeness, discipline and so much more, i would very highly recommend it, it worked for her at school and at home, keeps them fit and gets rid of all that energy too.
 




User removed 4

User removed 4

New member
May 9, 2008
13,331
Haywards Heath
Camicus said:
Aye talk to the head. But also tell your boy to give them a good hiding they will back down and they will not trouble him again. Failing that keep him home till its sorted or give there old man a slap best nip it in the bud
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For once I agree with you, definitely worth talking to the parents, and if the right responses are not forthcoming then warn them that they will experience what a bit of bullying feels like.
 






User removed 4

User removed 4

New member
May 9, 2008
13,331
Haywards Heath
Goldstone Rapper said:
What is the teacher doing to show recognition for those children's efforts in school?

It may not be easy to swallow, but the four children you speak of need as much support as your son. It doesn't help for you to relate to them as 'four little shits.' They were probably royally pissed off that your son got recognition for his reading and they didn't. They probably don't get recognised for many things and this is another piece of evidence to add to the pile. So how they are dealing with your son is part of how they are coping with the hurt they are feeling. It's their immature way of feeling powerful after feeling disempowered.

In the end, it's going to take them feeling validated and respected as learners and as people - and to be able to do this without hurting others - for this problem to be properly sorted.

I have enormous sympathy for your son. It must be so hard to go to school each day and not feel safe. At the same time, it is clear that those other children are not so lucky as to come from homes where learning is valued, and parents are responsive, as what your son enjoys.
Click to expand...
His FOUR year old is being bullied you f***ing clown, by other FOURyear olds and you're talking about these little shits needing to be " validated and respected as learners and as people ", jesus f***ing wept, you really dont live in the real world.
 








BadFish

BadFish

Huge Member
Oct 19, 2003
17,102
bushy said:
For once I agree with you, definitely worth talking to the parents, and if the right responses are not forthcoming then warn them that they will experience what a bit of bullying feels like.
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Then when the restraining order the school will slap on you wears off, go and do it again. You will be teaching your son a valuable lesson.
 


upthealbion1970

upthealbion1970

bring on the trumpets....
NSC Patron
Jan 22, 2009
8,865
Woodingdean
Had a similar experience with my boy around the same age, the head denied that there was any bullying in her school. Had words with the dad off of school premises, he then went into the school complaining I had threatened him, although strangely his boy then left mine alone. Another incident about a year later (in year 1) my boy comes home with bruises at the top of his arm, and not wanting to go to school, I made the mistake of losing my cool and having a screaming match with the head after another claim that there's no bullying at her school despite my son identifying 3 bullies. Mrs then makes an appointment to see the head, who tells her the bruises on my son haven't happened at school, so must be from home so she's called social services :censored:, the week before the school breaks up for summer. Social worker comes second week in September and ascertains that my son at that time is scared shitless of school because when he gets hit at school and tells a teacher or TA they don't believe him because he's the tallest boy in his year! To try and build his confidence we enrolled him in karate classes which he did for a couple of years, and explained to him that its ok to defend yourself by hitting a boy back, but its not ok to hit first or ever hit a girl and to explain to a teacher that he's defended himself, all the time he does that he won't be in any trouble at home and if he's gets a telling off at school we will back him because the school aren't protecting him from the bullies. Took about 3 years to turn him around and build his confidence back up. Every now and then one of the boys tries to have a go but my son now stands his ground, defends himself when he needs to, and always puts the other boys in their backsides.

Good luck, hope you get it sorted berty :)
 


User removed 4

User removed 4

New member
May 9, 2008
13,331
Haywards Heath
BadFish said:
Then when the restraining order the school will slap on you wears off, go and do it again. You will be teaching your son a valuable lesson.
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Its nothing to do with the school when you turn up on the said parent's front doorstep, for your guide it happened to my son, kid 2 years older was picking on my son, making his life a misery, the school were very good , but it carried on out of school, I went and saw his old man, who to be fair , made the right noises, but I'm quite sure my general demeanour left little room for misunderstanding , badfish , you can spout the mantra that " violence solves nothing ", unfortunately, in some cases , it does.
 




FamilyGuy

FamilyGuy

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2003
2,381
Crawley
mr sheen said:
Talk to the head. As soon as you can.
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The Head and the Teachers and the Governors have a duty of care to your son and all the children - give them the details and agree a plan of action wit the Head and then agree a day to go back again and make sure the plan is working.
 


Bodular

Bodular

New member
Jul 9, 2012
639
nwgull said:
This. Teach him self defence in the same way Mr Miyagi taught Daniel LaRusso. Might not work, but at least you'll have a clean car and freshly painted fence.
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:lol::lolol::lol:

- - - Updated - - -

I hope I gets sorted very quickly for you, would hate it if my boys had to endure that!!
 


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