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  1. #11
    Members Gritt23's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Easy 10 View Post
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    I bloody love that handicapped bog. The only slight downside is I don't like the toilet seat, it’s a bit smaller than the usual ones for some reason, and the plastic has gone a bit scuddy, so I always give it a good wipe before docking.
    While you've dealt with the potential taboo around using the handicapped toilet, when quite frankly mate, you're not ... I guess it is a trickly extra step to actually raise the issue with someone along the lines of requesting a more comfortable throne in there.
    "I looked straight across to Graham Turner and their whole bench was in tears."

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    • #12
      Abort, retry, fail Barrel of Fun's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by shaolinpunk View Post
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      In that scenario I'd have loudly expressed my shock and disgust at the smell before I shut the door, just to avoid any potential confusion. Probably not as straightforward if everyone is deaf though
      I could have beckoned over the hearing dog and trodden on his paw, I guess.
      You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Act like it.
    • #13
      I've asked for soup Mellotron's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Easy 10 View Post
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      Therefore, I use the handicapped toilet on the ground floor. Sure you risk a wasted journey if someone is in there (as well as a bit of an uncomfortable waddle back to the desk), but the rewards are well worth it. A VAST room you could park a medium sized Transit in. A metal bar screwed into the wall on the right for extra grip and traction if straining (mind the red emergency cord though). And a fold-down armrest on the left for the more relaxed, leisurely release.
      Had to cancel the fire engine that was on standby. Genuinely.

      Last time I ever used the disabled toilet.
      ""Football. F***ing football. Imagine not being into it. Those poor, poor half-alive *******s."
    • #14
      Brain dead MUG SHEEP Easy 10's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Gritt23 View Post
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      While you've dealt with the potential taboo around using the handicapped toilet, when quite frankly mate, you're not ... I guess it is a trickly extra step to actually raise the issue with someone along the lines of requesting a more comfortable throne in there.
      I could raise it with Facilities Management "on behalf of our disabled employees" (not that I've seen any, but we do share the building). But I fear I'd be quickly rumbled.

      I really don't want to advertise the disabled bog if I can at all help it, otherwise everyone will be in on my dark little secret, and I'll end up having more tortoise heads at my desk than usual. At the moment I'd say I have an 80% success rate at gaining immediate access, and I want to keep it that way.
      "But you accept that there is an increased risk of vehicle/bat collision"
    • #15
      Brain dead MUG SHEEP Easy 10's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Mellotron View Post
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      Had to cancel the fire engine that was on standby. Genuinely.

      Last time I ever used the disabled toilet.
      Wow, what a drama ! Did you scarper out of there and deny all knowledge ?

      I had to rush out of the handicapped bog a couple of weeks ago with a somewhat slapdash wipe, as I heard the ice cream van pull into the carpark and I really wanted a Calippo.
      "But you accept that there is an increased risk of vehicle/bat collision"
    • #16
      I've asked for soup Mellotron's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Easy 10 View Post
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      Wow, what a drama ! Did you scarper out of there and deny all knowledge ?

      I had to rush out of the handicapped bog a couple of weeks ago with a somewhat slapdash wipe, as I heard the ice cream van pull into the carpark and I really wanted a Calippo.
      There was no way of denying it. I was caught red-corded. A high pitched noise went off as soon as I hung my shirt up on the cord. Don't ask why I did it. I don't know to this day.
      ""Football. F***ing football. Imagine not being into it. Those poor, poor half-alive *******s."
    • #17
      I've asked for soup Mellotron's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Easy 10 View Post
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      Wow, what a drama ! Did you scarper out of there and deny all knowledge ?

      I had to rush out of the handicapped bog a couple of weeks ago with a somewhat slapdash wipe, as I heard the ice cream van pull into the carpark and I really wanted a Calippo.
      You risked a SHITTY ARSE for a Calippo? Committed.
      ""Football. F***ing football. Imagine not being into it. Those poor, poor half-alive *******s."
    • #18
      Brain dead MUG SHEEP Easy 10's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Mellotron View Post
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      You risked a SHITTY ARSE for a Calippo? Committed.
      Damn straight.
      Orange Calippo is the nectar of the GODS. I'd risk a full-on underkeck creamy cradle for a Calippo if the van was pulling away.
      "But you accept that there is an increased risk of vehicle/bat collision"
    • #19
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      Quote Originally Posted by Easy 10 View Post
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      A sobering tale indeed.

      The toilets on our floor consist of Trap 1 and Trap 2, no urinal. I simply refuse to shit in there. I'll go in there for a jimmy, but I simply cannot BEAR defecating directly next to someone, or risking someone entering the trap next to me whilst I am embroiled mid-cack. The plop-plop noises are bad enough when they are someone elses, but I cannot begin to imagine the horror if they were my own, quite apart from the smell.

      Therefore, I use the handicapped toilet on the ground floor. Sure you risk a wasted journey if someone is in there (as well as a bit of an uncomfortable waddle back to the desk), but the rewards are well worth it. A VAST room you could park a medium sized Transit in. A metal bar screwed into the wall on the right for extra grip and traction if straining (mind the red emergency cord though). And a fold-down armrest on the left for the more relaxed, leisurely release.

      I bloody love that handicapped bog. The only slight downside is I don't like the toilet seat, it’s a bit smaller than the usual ones for some reason, and the plastic has gone a bit scuddy, so I always give it a good wipe before docking.
      I love handicapped bogs - I also have a penchant for BHS toilets as they play music (and are clean) and therefore one can poop without anyone else hearing.
      I want a sausage roll
    • #20
      I hate Palarse
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      Quote Originally Posted by Easy 10 View Post
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      Damn straight.
      Orange Calippo is the nectar of the GODS. I'd risk a full-on underkeck creamy cradle for a Calippo if the van was pulling away.
      Between relaxing in the disabled bog, rushing out to the ice cream van, and posting on NSC, do you actually find time to do any work Easy?

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