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  1. #141
    Zamoras Left Boot Box of Frogs's Avatar
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    We had an email round at work last week, FAO of the female employees, stating that there had been another 'incident' in the ladies toilet and could whoever was responsible go and clear it up!

    Dirty bitches!!
    Dare we hope? We dare. Can we hope? We can. Should we hope? We must! - Andy Ripley

    Never, ever, argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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    • #142
      Slut Faced Whores Tony Meolas Loan Spell's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Box of Frogs View Post
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      We had an email round at work last week, FAO of the female employees, stating that there had been another 'incident' in the ladies toilet and could whoever was responsible go and clear it up!

      Dirty bitches!!
      We had the same email!!! Do you work in Birchin Lane in London??
      Sir RANTSALOT
      BIN THE FINN or we sleepwalk into league one ambition.

      REMF quiz Runners up 2011, WINNERS 2013, Runners up 2014.
    • #143
      Zamoras Left Boot Box of Frogs's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Tony Meolas Loan Spell View Post
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      We had the same email!!! Do you work in Birchin Lane in London??
      No mate - Haywards Heath
      Dare we hope? We dare. Can we hope? We can. Should we hope? We must! - Andy Ripley

      Never, ever, argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
      Lest we forget
    • #144
      Slut Faced Whores Tony Meolas Loan Spell's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Box of Frogs View Post
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      No mate - Haywards Heath
      Ha! Fair enough but we had exactly the same type of email at work last week so its TRUE women are DIRTY slut faced whores
      Sir RANTSALOT
      BIN THE FINN or we sleepwalk into league one ambition.

      REMF quiz Runners up 2011, WINNERS 2013, Runners up 2014.
    • #145

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      I was going on all day fishing expedition tother day, i forced myself to have a TS ( tactical shit ) in the comfort and well stocked surroundings of my own home, with triple ply extra soft andrex. I was not foolhardy enough to risk a sortee into the portatraps that were on site, with their far inferior school grade quality sandpaper. sorry, toilet 'paper'.
    • #146
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      My biology teacher told us that the mammalian colon was designed to hold intestinal waste products for long periods of time so that the water could be absorbed from the formative stools. So why make the dry knobbly ones hurt so much on the way out? Is it the same principle as giving birth? Get them out while they're soft and malleable, that's what I say. He also said frogs having sex wasn't pornographic, dirty beasts.
    • #147
      Sanity Clause vegster's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Gblocksouthstand View Post
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      My biology teacher told us that the mammalian colon was designed to hold intestinal waste products for long periods of time so that the water could be absorbed from the formative stools. So why make the dry knobbly ones hurt so much on the way out? Is it the same principle as giving birth? Get them out while they're soft and malleable, that's what I say. He also said frogs having sex wasn't pornographic, dirty beasts.
      As I remember, the colon contains Goblet Cells which produce a form of lubrication for your motions, maybe they are malfunctioning ?
      I had run 17 miles from Grayshades before the school leopard caught me.....

      " Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom "
      Terry Pratchett 1948 2015
    • #148
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      Slightly ot, but has any on here tried rubbing the small of the back when sending the kids to the seaside?
      I have found this to have a naturally encouraging effect on the chunksters, perhaps it's a distraction for the outpipe, or maybe those bears rubbing against trees have long known something we have forgotten.
    • #149
      Members Brightonfan1983's Avatar
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      I delved into the NSC Gold archives last night (there are some absolute belters in there it has to be said) but wondered where this one was. Now I know.

      How long does a thread have to be dormant before a mod deems it worthy of Gold status, anyone know?
      Squat Cobbler
    • #150
      Members jackanada's Avatar
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      Some years ago I was on holiday in Morocco. In the early afternoon it was blazing hot and and the current girlf had a sore neck so we went back to the hotel, had a cooling shower and gent that I am I layed down a few towels to give her a massage.
      All was going well as I tenderised her naked body, and while I could feel some disturbance in my bowels I was not overly concerned. I briefly stood up to stretch out my own back having been hunched over for a while, but as I squatted back down I ejected a cupful of near black loo-lava. I looked down upon the festering stink that clung to her thigh like napalm, frozen in shock and simultaneously quite surprised it was not causing her skin to blister.
      Fortunately for her her face was right on the ground and out of range of a stench possibly similar to that of a dead tramp pulled from a cess-pit. "I'll just clean that up" I said and went for cloths and soap (the hotel bathroom lacking rubber gloves, a scouring pad and ammonia). "It's not oil?" she said, only the mildest concern in her voice.
      I returned and made the first swipe with a hand towel that surely deserved a better end to its working life.
      "No" I said "I just shat on you!" and continued the clean-up shaking like Ali doing the rumba with Michael J Fox due to the combination of laughter, retching and fear.

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