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How to resign/best resignation



Tooting Gull

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
11,033
There's quite a good piece on AOL about this today. And it made me realise that I've resigned quite a lot before my current job as a journo, which I probably should have done from the start.

None of them spectacular ('I'm not really an accountant', 'I hate telesales', 'I'm going to do a Masters', 'I don't like working for you, you're an arrogant twat (probably the best - toned down prior to pay-off).

Any crackers out there?
 


zefarelly

Well-known member
NSC Patreon
Jul 7, 2003
21,715
Sussex, by the sea
my last job I left because my boss was becoming increasingly paranoid and slightly mad . . . .I had a letter pre written in my bag saying I was 'leaving to persue other business interests, and that Id be happy working my months notice.'

the notice bit was a lie, I was desperate to get out, but I did it and he went instantly suicidaly paranoid :shootself: that I was going to steal all his designs and start up on my own . . . .suffice to say I didnt, I got a proper job! he went down hill rapidly, wife left him, arguing with his business partner . . .probably gone bust by now, serves him right, made all of our lives a misery for over a yera, I was the last to go of our team, its was like revenge without doing anything the day I left

:clap2:
 


Curious Orange

Punxsatawney Phil
Jul 5, 2003
9,932
On NSC for over two decades...
Resigning is only ever good if you have another job to go to. Being made redundant, on the other hand, is superb - you are paid to bog-off and bum around for a few months!!!

:D

A resignation can in some limited cases be a ticket to higher earnings. I knew a bloke at my former employers who resigned, had his leaving drinks, went off to his new job at another company, only to reappear a few weeks later on a much higher salary!!!! Somehow, I don't think the same thing is ever likely to happen to me!!
 


tedebear

Legal Alien
Jul 7, 2003
16,703
In my computer
Slightly different to the topic but this was the best out of office I have ever received after someone has left - the company I work for had no idea it was on there for about 3 months - this went to any email he received both internally and externally!!

Pure Class!!

Subject: Out of Office AutoReply:



Ladies and Gentlemen, **** has now left the building. I have left **** to take up a position elsewhere.

I have been privileged to have met and worked with a number of wonderful people, in many corners of the globe, and have established sound friendships with many of you during my time here. To my friends, and those of you who have helped make my time at **** an enjoyable and rewarding experience, I would like to wish you all the very best for the future, and thank each of you for allowing me the opportunity to know and work with you.

Although much fewer in number, I have also had the less enjoyable experience of working with colleagues who were often unreasonable, unhelpful, rude, egotistical, and self-centred. With great sincerity, I also wish you few individuals the very best of luck. I am a firm believer that you reap what you sow, and if that is true I expect you will need luck, in greater measure than I can offer, to see you through what remains of your journey.

Peace, out.
 






Simster

"the man's an arse"
Jul 7, 2003
54,110
Surrey
There was a bloke who got fired from a software house I once worked at in Surbiton. Basically he was slack and shit and deserved what he got. However, on receiving his P45, he was inexplicably allowed back to his desk, where he e-mailed the entire company (numbering 500) along the lines of "I have just been fired for taking holiday (which was my entitlement) and for turning up late (which I had got permission for)"

The whole company was in bits laughing, and the MD was then forced to send an email to everybody explaining the situation.

Later in the pub it transpired that this bloke had oddly enough missed out crucial information from his email. Notably that he hadn't actually told anyone that he was about to take this holiday he was entitled to, and that whilst he was allowed to turn up late, he was supposed to make the time up - not bugger off at 4pm for 3 weeks running and get caught sleeping for 30 minutes in trap 2 of the third floor toilets on one occasion whilst telling everyone he was praying. (He was an active preaching muslim)
 


JEM

New member
Jul 5, 2003
686
Bevendean
Artois said:
I QUIT

This HAS to be the best way to resign.

I'm confused. Does the picture show the boss after a punch in the kisser or me after a particularly heavy last day in the office alcohol & cocaine binge?
 
















severnside gull

Well-known member
May 16, 2007
24,540
By the seaside in West Somerset
Just to give some purpose to the bounce.......

When I was 17 I worked for the then Halifax Building Society as a clerk. I hated the job and having been instructed by the manager with dismissal because I refused to handcuff the bag with the (several thousand pounds) takings in it between the branch in West Street and Barclays Bank in North Street I decided enough was enough. As far as I was concerned anyone threatening me could have the bloody money but not with my arm attached thank you very much!
I left work as usual on a Friday night and phoned them on Monday morning from San Sebastián having hitched several lifts on my journey south. I politely advised them that I wouldn't be in for work again and would they be kind enough to wire my outstanding salary poste-restante to the central post office in Madrid. It was the first time I'd known the manager, who to my mind was something of an old school bully, to be completely lost for words.
 


Biscuit Barrel

Well-known member
Jan 28, 2014
2,392
Southwick
I was working as an office junior in an estate agents about 20 years ago. A colleague of mine left the firm after a falling out with the bosses. He worked a weeks notice and left. After few days latter we realized that he had inserted rude words into the property particulars that we being handed out to potential buyers. Things like - Master Bedroom with southerly aspect, double glassing, fitted wardrobes and a selection of massive dildo's.

He also changed some of the other members of staff's job description at the bottom of their headed paper. People were sending out letters signed (for example)

John Smith
Child Molester (instead of Senior Negotiator)
For and on behalf of Halifax Property Services

We got a few awkward calls from our customer.
 





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