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Turienzo is the only player who has ever actually made me laugh through his complete incompetence. He was so uncoordinated and unbalanced, the summariser at the time once described him (when trying to chase down a ball) as like a demented cow charging down a spiral staircase whilst wearing...

I'm sorry, but there can be only ONE centre forward. Step forward, Federico Turienzo. 100% utter unadulterated gash. The worst player ever to appear in the FL72 I'm pretty sure. We even had to teach him to RUN, FFS, so he didn't get hamstring injuries. He simply must be in the final 11. End of...