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I wanted to eat my pudding without first having my meat. The headmaster went off on one in the playground. So embarrassing. Thankfully he was then distracted by some kids behind the bikeshed.

I got into a little pickle once because I became slightly obsessed with my teacher. Her voice was echoed in my mind and I counted the days until she was mine Couldn't tell my friends 'cause they would laugh that I love a member of the staff I used to fight my way to the front of class to get...

Got a detention in primary school for talking in the assembly where they were announcing that detentions were being imposed.