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He was lazy for the few minutes he played against us. Definitely wouldn’t have needed a shower. The posters on your link have a point re loaning him out.

Hanging around Brighton station around 6:30 after the game, we look up and Dominic Calvert Lewin is stood beside us with his (quite lovely) missus. My mate's 10 year old boy spots him and quietly sings 'Merry Christmas Everton' with a big s££t eating grin on his face. DCL makes eye contact with...