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Shitter was full…

I'd like four glitter explosions, 12 puff flashes. So: the sequence should be puff, flash, puff, flash, BANG. Basically, I want a condensed Pink Floyd concert for £500.

I know I just referred to my girlfriend as “the other half”, but I’m not gay. I guess you’d call me a “homosceptic”. I love how Alan is everything Coogan hates. It’s just brilliant writing. He makes his point without forcing it down your neck. Partridge is everything Coogan hates, and has...

I know!!! Me and my other half watch the Christmas Partridge stuff every year. 28 years is astonishing. I think it works because he revolves, but he doesn’t evolve And vice versa

“Hit the gas”? You like American things now…

Are you the crank caller?

Lynn, idea for a programme. Raquel Welsh, Denise Welch and a Welshman stay in a Trusthouse Forte for a week. We’ll call it “Three Welsh(ch) people in a Treehouse Forte for a week”. 300k, 300k or I’ll take it to Sky

@ManOfSussex I don’t think anecdotes are really your forté

It’s times like these that I know who I really am.

Whooooo… whoooooo… who do you think you are?

I personally think you should have a basic understanding of etiquette if you’re shopping at… Morrisons…

You are missing the point. I ordered early, to arrive late, because I only have a small icebox. If anything I was too prepared.

Right, let me tell you something you may not know, t need any help packing there love?

Planning ahead how?

See! A lot of people here think you’re a bit thick, but I personally think you’re quite witty. You keep proving them wrong mate!!!

So, considering that, would it be better to let down the family you’re cooking for when the potatoes and stuffing haven’t arrived in the shopping delivery, or go out and buy them?

Or something like I said in my final paragraph.

And what would you do if say, potatoes and stuffing for your roast dinner on Christmas Day didn’t arrive?

My complaints were about the selfishness/ignorance of others around them on the shop floor, specifically in this case elderly people. Nothing to do with checkouts on this occasion or in my OP.

I’m really not sure it will. In public spaces I am polite to a fault, which is why today really made my blood boil simply because of how inconsiderate they were being, not because they’re old and confused. I would never, no matter how old, deliberately make a barricade with my trolley so I can...