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The absolute best is, she works 18 hours a week but spends at least 25 hours telling me about it. Even though I'm not really listening (despite saying "yes" when asked "are you listening") it has all gone in via osmosis or capillary action or something. I can tell you the names of everyone she...

Calling from another room "what's this doing here ?" No mention of what "this" is or where "here" might be. I've taken to replying "everything has to be somewhere, blame physics". Turning my music off when she gets in the car but complaining when I do the same to her music. Delaying...