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I suspect that is about to happen. It is well known she is useless and this gives somebody an excuse to put her on her first warning.

This beauty appeared from our resident passive aggressive swamp donkey.

I think the spelling mistake says all you need to know on this one.

Yes, but she should have just told them to put the stuff in the dish water, rather than try and be the down trodden martyr.

Also on margegate, the said item was thrown away as it had a best before date of June 2016. She is currently on the phone to a customer (soon to be lapsed), saying she does not do best before dates.

Today's company wide email from resident loon; Hi Chaps, Please could you remember to wash any mugs or glasses used when you have guests, and not leave them in the sink for others to do….. While you at it, wash the bloody spoons too!!

Or just ignore as per normal. Work from home as much as possible and come in to do expenses only...

Yes, as are the meeting rooms, loos and so on. Now we are getting boards about how to save money and help profit share. Shame I have just signed a PO for a golf day....

The problem with that is, it means interacting with them as I try and talk to nobody here all the time, that becomes an issue.

This was another classic, but was not sent to all, just those she suspected; Dear All, A question….would you really leave your kitchen at home in such a mess……? Regardless of any significant other you may have, I think not, so why would you dump spoons and crockery in the sink for someone else...

To be fair, this particular creature takes pride in send company wide emails about people using tea towels as clothes and not filling the kettle up. So this special has just caused a lot of sneering.

Just appeared to all in the company from somebody here; I would appreciate it if the person (s) who has “borrowed” the tub of margarine from the downstairs fridge, please put it back or replace it. If you have binned it because you’re concerned about expiry dates, thanks but don’t have to do...

Looks like it is in the Chinese place that had been there forever.

When did Farnham get a Giggling Squid?

Our boss does not like dress down days (he is an accountant). So he is out tomorrow, decision made to have a dress down day, pound in the charity tin for St Catherines Hospice if you take part. So somebody sent him the email asking him to contact a person about it, who is not in today....

With anything other than 4 weeks notice, disruptive is the way forward, so you get sent home and are available for any questions that may come up.

I had to send ours out as the venues chase for deposit. Sort of enjoy doing the seating plan, means I can create a table of all the people I cannot stand. With any luck our game against Leeds will be moved to the Friday night, can leave a trail of moaning over the seating plan and not even...

Was he using it like this?

However with Sussex batting collapses last season, a Town Hall Meeting might have been the better alternative...

With a Blue Ocean Strategy on the production of cheese.