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No, m'lord, it was definitely the squirrel. Nathan Jones could only run diagonally to the corner flag.

Is the half-time winning ticket prize still a cake from Gellatly's, the baker shop in the High Street?

I cherish the 'Nodding Alex Ferguson' graphic that accompanies the HT announcement of the winning Amex scratchcard ticket numbers. Even tho everybody has pissed off to the bogs and/or the endless queue for a pie and a pint and there's nobody there to actually witness it.