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I’m not sure when the end of the world is nigh so I went with the instalment option on my season ticket. It’s annoying they are never specific because I could have made the one off payment.

I’m sorry to have to inform you Mr R.I. Python that we are at this moment in time unable to offer you the position of ‘ Morale and Motivational Officer’. We thank for your application and wish you all the best in the future.