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Last time i bought the curtain dahn was when playing Othello at the Theatre Royal in 1989. Hattie Jacques played Desmondoda, my bread knife in a two week run that dear dear Johnnie Gielgud said brought a tear to his eye with my reworking of big Billy Shakespeares morish tragedy, especially when...

Its Mrs Das who sells curtains, as well as cushions, at Peacehaven community market every Saturday (10am-2pm, 10% off for anyone who uses the code word "Green Street gives me an erection"). Im far to alpha male pal to get involved in fabric sales, stick to my alotment Regards DR

Look son, when the big boys come to are gaff next season youll be thanking me for standing up for you scarfers. Ive got loads of scams up my sleeve to insure they know who the top boys are. ive clocked my scales so they get two ounces short on a pound of apples, local farmers mushrooms are...

Sold one of them two jars of organic honey after the match from my stall at the station and i mugged him off as it wasnt organic! And i short changed him 20p to. Wont come into are manor taking libertines any more after that treatment. Regards DR