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That "fish quiz" story is gold, as is "The King" dinner switch story below it, and that's what makes Pardew the man we love to hate.

Mike Dean. It transcends the Albion - he wrecks football matches with breathtakingly awful decisions on a regular basis. Of the others I have grudging respect for Zaha for single- handedly carrying Palace season after season, while Pardew is a football goose that keeps laying comedy golden eggs.