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Imagine if God had said to Eve "Forget the fig leaf, here's a pencil now draw me your ideal regular daily outfit". Does anybody think for one moment she'd have come up with a head-to-toe 'all in one' garment complete with "pillar box-style slot" for her eyes? The rights of women is one of the...

Would a sense of humour be halal or haram in Muslim Britain? Omid Djalili apart there seem to be few laughs east of Istanbul.

All very good, now cut off his fvckin' hands!