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Now you're introducing logic, research and common sense into the argument. Someone's always got to spoil it ...

It might be this season's white shorts, but he looks to me as if he's carrying quite a lot of weight around his rear end, which doesn't exactly fit with his notion that he's at some sort of peak of fitness.

Lewes is quite beautiful in its way.

He was supposed to offer something different to Murray, not to replace or understudy him. I think we saw that in the AFC Wimbledon friendly, when he ran in behind the defence three times in a way Murray can’t. Sadly he failed to score on any of the three occasions and got injured too, which...

Uninterested.

Exactly. Send him out on loan to somewhere in Europe and let him prove himself so that we can recoup some of the transfer fee. Nobody is at fault except maybe the recruitment department, and they don’t get many wrong.

This is an important point, I think. I was worried when Locadia said he preferred to play on the left (where we already had Izquierdo and March) or behind the main striker (where we already had Gross) as it seemed we had bought a player that we didn’t really need. So when a vacancy arises for a...