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I won Highgate Jowl of the Week in the second week of March. A simple competition in which anyone residing in the N6 area would take a selfie at the crack of dawn on the Monday, and then again at midnight the follow Sunday. Within that time, one has to increase the size of their jowl - multiple...

I won the Frog Skin Similarity trophy - made of frog organs - 2008. "Rubbery and a tad squelchy", my dermis was described as by Dr Emmet T Huggis as he squeezed me almost into unconsciousness with his coarse and mighty thumbs. The trophy was turned into a soup, and I met a temporary girlfriend...