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You're hired.

May i also recommend an agony aunt section similar to the one i used to read in my sister's Just 17 magazine. It explained to me the white spots on my scrotum, so any young NSCers could discreetly go into a 'growing pains' section and anonymously throw in questions for modestly understanding...

A donation to a moose charity for every 100k posts made and, when meeting the billion post mark, 4 lucky invites to a moose rodeo in which our sponsored meese will battle to the death, the invitees going home with still slightly warm antler sandals.