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Rats. I was recently held, my tophalf unbeclothed, by an orange-armed man tightly. Glad in some ways that that Blackpool-fan osteopath said my spinal despair was nearing its end and i won't have to go back. Ok his treatment was decent, his grip firm and enlivening, but i know as i lie face down...

Cack crumpets. Still time to turn it around. Come on you Super Seagulls!

Some rascal went into my workplace locker and pinched my lucky thong. Have been keeping an eye on anyone wandering around the place in new ermine-skin gloves, as anyone wearing my never-washed buttcrack'n'balls sling would be donning such high class gear after a night down the dogtrack. ****er.