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The legend in his own words: British women can't cook. I would like to go to Russia very much, although the *******s murdered half my family. If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and flies but is not an aeroplane and if it swims and it is not a submarine...

I wish the Duke of Edinburgh a happy and glorious retirement. He's a very private man and does a lot of charity work that he doesn't like to talk about, but I for one would be fascinated to read his candid memoirs, if he were to pen them once retired though. I'd be particularly interested in his...

I don't recall getting my knickers in a twist over Corbyn being called a 'mutton headed old mugwump'. I try not listen to anything Boris Johnson says.

They're going to announce that Princess Anne DID take a sex test at the Montreal Olympics and failed it.

Perhaps this meeting is just about The Queen working this weekend. Maybe she's now got to present something in Birmingham Sunday lunchtime.

That was good:

Is Camilla pregnant?