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OK, we're on.

I'm up for that, although don't think we'll be needing a calculator and it might not happen at all. So if they're on the pitch for however many minutes, that counts as one game, and it's a goals-appearances ratio. Not living in Preston Park, I'm not flush with cash, but how about £20? And...

That is one of the funniest comments I've read on NSC, in the sense of laughing at you rather than with you.

Alongside being able to finish, I'd say that this is as good a quality you could hope for from a forward. That said, I do think he's slow. Hyypia has said that what we need to improve is our transition from defence to attack, and particularly the speed of that transition. This World Cup is...

What do you mean by this?

This is the way agents work. Most of the time, most of them don't even need or want to be quoted. And while I've got you, can you turn the Roar up please.

Good call, but it wasn't just The Mirror -- both articles were written by Martin Lipton.

It might have been made up with the assistance of Ulloa's agent, or a feeder for his agent; it seems entirely plausible to me.