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8 year contract surely and a silly butterfly tat on your neck? :)

I think the whole story is implausible from a costs perspective alone. Who is going to realistically sign Dave when there will need to be an extension to the boot room and just how many apprentices will you need on the books to clean the boots. Never mind the vat of dubbin required ( yes I'm...

At which point did he put his shin pads and deep heat on?

Indeed. It's a schoolboy error. And in an era of super light slipper like boots surely there were slip on boots available