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When high haired heart-throb Aussie soapstar Stefan Dennis growled convincingly "wanna make ya feel good", I couldn't help but believe him. Yet when I approached him after his personal appearance at Valentines night club on Crowborough High Street to tell him his song was quite possibly the...

Carl Douglas, you sweaty one-hit-wondered slaphead. Even if everyone was kung-fu fighting, Einstein has rigorously proven that neither cats, nor any form of physical matter can move as fast as lightening. Nonce. Although I do have to admit to being a little bit frightened by your woeful miming...