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...and yet, somehow, they consistently outperform state schools with staff who are qualified to the eyeballs. Weird. A mate of mine teaches history at a private school. He has a degree in Business Admin. He gets paid a very decent wage and loves his subject. I'm sure there are many like him...

He'd have a long queue in front of him but if he bags a hat trick or more in every one of our remaining fixtures and there was an Ebola outbreak in the England camp then maybe.