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I'd miss him having his little personal 'mini-strops' with himself when things go wrong if he went. I love to see players that care. There have been times when his jinky little runs have been thwarted by Championship defences, especially later in the season, so I'm genuinely looking forward to...

Maybe he means stapling his testicle to his ear lobe? Three weeks of yoga and a slipped disc later.....

If they're true to form we'll just find each one of Knocky's boots on a pile of bricks, a bit of broken glass on the floor, and him missing. About three days later Chris Hughton will get a call to say he's been found burnt out in a field.