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Watch out, here comes the Jolly Green Giant. That's strange, because I can see you perfectly well from here.

'If it's the same fecking bread van, I'll kill them'😂🤣

Wayne: Been in here had he?

Kid: Paedo! Tony: I'm not a paedo. And if I was, you'd be safe, you tubby, little ginger ****.

You know, it's funny you should mention that about footballers, Oz, cause the only older woman I ever had looked like Billy Bremner.

We're witnesses, not suspects. Now stop making a tit of yourself and piss off.

Is this gonna take long, Blanco? Only my foot's gone to sleep and I'd like to catch it up...

Does anyone want the last chickpea? I didn't even want the first one.

'Cos they're the bastards that bombed me granny.'

Rodney: I could do with another blanket here, I'm freezing. Del Boy: Yeah it is a bit cold. Uncle Albert: Cold? You bits of kids don't know the meaning of the word. You should have been with me on the Russian convoys. One night it was so cold the flame on my lighter froze.