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New record. 09.05 this morning* *smug mode switched on

I'm losing 2-1 to a 3rd old at Jenga who is also the clumsiest kid on the planet. Not happy

We appear to be watching an SAS type team of guinea pigs on BBC1. Quite how Bill Nighey reacted to the script and said yes is anyones guess.

Morning All 7.30 start for me. Not bad. The wife got a 6.30 yesterday. Winner. Subjected to more PAW PATROL this morning aaarrgggghhh. More Bad news for me is that we are now going to create Christmas cards. I'm proper shit at craft stuff. That's why we've got Clintons FFS. Eldest likes the...

2 weeks ago one of our fish committed suicide by jumping out of the tank. You need to watch your step in this household or its curtains

Unfortunately he could only communicate by running extremely quickly on his wheel in the middle of the night. This didn't elicit the most sympathetic response from the iggle piggle branch of the hamster samaritans.

My last hamster committed suicide. Escaped from its cage and jumped off a gap from 1st floor to ground. Stupid creatures.

My turn to get up (got home at half 3 on Friday drowning my Millwall sorrows). Winner. Youngest awake at 8.30. Lost teddy incident at 05 30 only issue in the night. Paw Patrol is on. Too many comedy falling sounds for my liking on a Sunday morning.