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Yeah, but I was about 27/28 when I wore those check monstrosities. Now I have reached, er, more mature years I could wear some more jarring colours ... but I fear that Mrs Gwylan wouldn't dare be seen with me

In my younger days, I had a pair of green, white and salmon pink checked trousers. I wore them once and realised what a horrible mistake I'd made - they looked like Wallace Chesney's strides (© PG Wodehouse). We've all done things we're embarrassed about ...