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So long as he then got teabagged by He Man and sent off to live in darkest Syria as a punishment for treason (and nicking Shergar) I'd probably pay to see that.

This. It's a terrible job which will pay the same or less for very little chance of success and without the long term commitment he's been given here by Tony Bloom. The compo they'd have to pay us would be through the roof and it wouldn't solve the problem that (Duffy apart, obvs) their players...