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For now, she just needs to know that it's the first to say "Ian Culverhouse" that wins. There are far too many intricate details to go into them all, she'll just have to pick them up as she goes.

If you are looking for insight into "current" matters, then avoid Brazil at all costs. Talk about the old days, and a brief rave about a top 6 team before talking endlessly about a liquid lunch. But yes, I think Hiney was pretty close to it. H&J have always been excellent, as is Danny Kelly...

Try podcasts. Pick your topic, huge range out there, and you won't find that wretched topic sneeking into the likes of the Telegraph Football Daily, or Flintoff, Savage and the Ping Pong Guy. The Infinite Monkey Cage is very good as well. Honestly, there is so much more out there than just...

Oh FFS, I can't go anywhere without this coming up. Can we please try to avoid dragging this into absolutely every conversation.