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I will convince you. Just as soon as someone retains my services...

Nope, not after I knifed the badger. Who are you rooting for in the final? Want it to win? You know what to do.

Derisory offers of 50p have been received from a hippo supporter and a croc fan. This what you get for 50p... Vote...wtf, who cares? Hippo? Sure, if you like. Croc? Whatever. #votecba That'll be 50p each please. You know who you are. C'mon people; if you want real lobbying, you gotta...

Ah, I see. Nope, I didn't lobby for the one true champ. Naively, I thought it didn't need the lobbying to progress. My bitterness at that situation was a proximate causal factor in my burning passion to see the badger destroyed. Its deserved destruction has only partially resolved my...

Ummm. It is. I lobbied for the croc. "Just before I got involved in knifing the honey badger in the semi final, the croc was leading the vote by 6 votes. After my efforts, it ended up winning by a clear 21 votes."

VOTE FOR SALE. LOBBYING FOR SALE. Not essential for lobbying and vote to be for the same beast. Given the exit of the one true champion in an earlier round and the destruction of the honey badger in the semi final, I have no runner in this final. Consequentially, I am prepared to offer my...