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No, I'm querying your very strange priorities.

So, you'd rather leave the body parts lying around then.....................................

Not one of your more rational replies either, tbf........................

Yes. Probably thanks to EU regulations.......................................

At considerable cost - all made necessary by vandalism and trespass. ....and Worthing, Schmorthing, wherever - the usual reason for the toilets being closed is due to them becoming unfit for use.......... ........because of vandals. Plus of course, more man hours could be dedicated...

Oh good. So it's just other people's property you don't give a shit about then?

A bit of paint doesn’t harm anyone, or impact the operation of your car either - so what slogan would you like scrawled across it? Any particular colour preference?

Nationalisation. But a slovenly, laissez-fair attitude to vandalism would quickly ruin all the good work and good will. Who wants to ride on trains where you can't look out of the window because some twunt has painted over it?

Good news day then. You're not...............................

Beat me to it. Spot on!

Probably not - but nonetheless the cost to the TOCs and Network Rail of vandalism and trespass is enormous - it runs to millions of pounds every year. That has to be paid for, so yes, part of what you pay for your ticket does go towards repairing the damage caused by vandals. Anybody who doesn't...