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Just as well you make up for your lack of player identification skills with a superb command of how to write a coherent sentence.

Sorry Tim, tried my best to double the readership.

I'd love to think he was trying to be a parody of a journalist, the Alan Partridge of print. If so it would be a work of genius. Sadly that's not the case though.

It can't help if the journalist is typing with one hand whilst he's putting together his words of wisdom......

No, but he in this week's column in Brighton and Hove News he did write this about our penalty..... Unable to tell the difference between Murphy and Hemed is quite an achievement. But he then topped it with.... ....being unable to tell the difference between Hemed and Wilson, and also...