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'Hold on, I've got 1lb of cocaine here, officer. Been meaning to get rid of it'

There was one to Liverpool in 1991. By that time I had discovered alcohol and a Young Person's Railcard. Our scheduled train pulled up alongside the Special at one stage in the north and we waved our tinnies out the window.

You must have been in with the sardines at the away end.

Should never have been played. Their second goal was scored by a lump of ice. I was a young red scarfer on the special train. I remember sitting in the main stand with us 2-1 down and no longer caring about the match. My feet were almost frozen and I just wanted to go home.