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Leisure Centres as well were on standby as there aren't that many Ice Rinks..

They did it. They actually did it. The BBC cut away early to go to Strictly. FFS

Was that your Sturgeon impression or did you have a small stroke?

Anyone who doesn't vote for "SPI-M medium term projection graph with shaded blue areas" is just wrong.

Keep up - he is the South West sales rep giving his sales presentation. There is narrative in my ranty posts.

That graph really says England V Beds. That is unfair - they are a minor county, aren't they? Hope we are resting Stokes and Root.

No - I take it all back. He went Nuclear and brought out the SPI-M medium term projection graph with shaded blue areas. That shut me up.

JUST TELL ME IF I HAVE AN F-ING JOB OR NOT, Keith.

AAAARRRRGGGGGH. Now Keith from the South West region gets to do his presentation. Next slide please.

I like this slide. I think COVID sunk our battleship. Right Leg to Green.

Multi coloured bingo cards now. This is like every dull sales presentation ever. Here are some graphs you don't understand. Next slide please.

Christ - this is like watching a band singing their new album tracks first. Next slide please.

Perhaps he is negotiating with the virus to ask it not to do anything until Thursday.

I would as well. You would go down as the best Chancellor in history. Gave away loads and loads of money and never asked for any back. That is the next mug's job.

This is an actual tweet from an actual journalist. During a pandemic. 1322597130566029312

We've just become an annex of North Korea and only have to pay 53% tax on videos of the Glorious Leader. We have also signed an amazing levelling up deal with them to test their nuclear weapons. We don't even need to do anything - just sit here. MUKGA

I've got you covered.

Not sure about that - same with restaurants. There is a very good chance that a lot of the current businesses will fold but it is a sector than people can restart when things eventually get back to normal. Doesn't help those that go bust or those that lose their jobs though. But there will be...

If they don't support councils, there will be loads of leisure centres and gyms closing for good. Councils have helped support keep their centres going where possible but they are potless. Virtually all centres are run buy not for profits who still have the running costs to pay. Memberships have...

Monday was due to be my first full week's work and pay since March. Doubt he will allow gyms to stay open so looks like that won't last long.