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You have missed my point. You claim to be indifferent but you're not. You've lots to say on the subject and lots of feelings about it , mainly hand-wringing and guilt.

For someone who can't be bothered with it, you've got an awful lot to say about it. Is that how indifference works nowadays? I bet you're not too bothered about St Patrick's Day either but I can't recall you making weak jokes about their Welsh-born patron saint. Maybe I missed that bit of...

Oh my aching sides. What is it about St George's Day that brings out so many terminally unfunny comments from people so eager to signal their virtue? Cecil Rhodes had it spot on "To be born English is to win first prize in the lottery of life."