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No Hamilton, that is a valid point. keep The Times. Never did John Steed any harm. I hope Emma Peel and Purdey are keeping well. :)

Being serious for a moment, you could probably do a lot of damage with the umbrella (I am assuming that it is the standard black one not the one that is folded up). If running it may be a good ideal to jettison The Times.

That sounds like a letter to "TOP TIPS" in Viz. :) (Maybe it is)