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I am sure Mr Eighties Hair and Mr Tumble will soon agree a new contract to ward off Mr Hard Negotiator and Mr Oligarch.

Mr Putdown and Mr Tumble both sound like Roger Hargreaves creations.

Nurse!

Jury found him guilty of being a total waste of £28m some time ago.

Parish himself said there is a "big sell on fee." The suggestion at the time was that it might be enough for United to recover the fee they paid for Zaha (so £15m minus the £3m perhaps?) To be fair though if they decide to sell him and dig their heels in over the fee I am pretty sure they'd...