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Perhaps you should go to a Morrisons and forget the Pot Noodles and buy their new Curry Volcanic Vindaloo apparently the hottest curry available in a UK supermarket and it is advised that people under 16 should not try it.

Must buy one and try it as I havent had one for years, probably 20 years.it seems. The only proibl3m is I have just checked and 1 pot is 382 cals.