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It would take a set of highly improbable results (including a 10-0 loss to Arsenal :D and Bournemouth winning by 4 at Villa) but the bottom of the league table after Monday night could theoretically look like this: (West Ham would actually only have played 26, not 27 as their game against...

You say all that, but I noticed a Palace fan sneering that the lyrics to GOSBTS appear on the jumbotron, which I believe trumps all those things. I mean, what a win for Palace that is.

I don't think they are, sadly. As shit as they are, with no league wins in 2023, three games in a row with no shots on target, SEGW well past his sell by date, Barndoor 90k a week Oddgoal Edouard unable to score more than about 3 goals in a calendar year and so on, that three point gap would...