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They'd almost certainly have a glazed look on their faces when they hit the ground.

That's true. I think the goals at my primary school were wooden – although they were already pretty old then. In terms of league football, I can't remember wooden goals. Anyone know when they were phased out?

My favourite one is about hitting 'the woodwork'. I'm not sure when goals were made out of wood, but I certainly don't ever remember seeing any.

Maybe. Thinking about it, those Russian fellas all fell out of windows, didn't they? Very unfortunate all round.

Does anything go 'out of the window' like form does?