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Ownership of smartphones does fvck all to help it either. Probably helps you find super-spreader events though. Bully for smartphone owners then ..............................

The whole bl**dy world has gone over the top. Non smart-phone owners are the new underclass.

Yes, it really has become some sort of corporate paranoioa. "I'd like to buy a ticket for the match in three weeks time" - certainly sir/madam/he/she/it - are you a member? No? - no problem, join here - name, date of birth, address (with proof of residency), photo ID, your bank or credit card...

Out of interest, is anywhere accepting bus passes as ID (apart from buses, obviously)? Before I had to compulsorily switch to a photo driving licence when I hit 70, it was unbelievable the things you were barred from doing in this country - it always seemed ridiculous that bus passes weren't...