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Take them on the train, take them to the Swan and buy them a burger. Immerse them in the whole thing. Don't let them **** about on a poxy phone or ipad, that's shite, talk to them, talk them through it, involve them.

Be unrelenting in your mickey taking of the opposition fans, make funny noises, perhaps pretend to be the referee when he’s talking to the opposition players and say the reason he gave a free kick to Brighton was because Sheffield smell like poo. Have fun.

Yep, make sure you teach them the “whoooooooa you’re shit aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhh” chant, kids love that.