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Fill the holes in with butter and a plasterers trowel :-)

I wasn’t aware I was engaged in an argument. As for your pact, you must do as you see fit although I do think you’re overthinking the matter somewhat.

My brother died of a heart attack four years ago aged 39 , leaving behind a wife and 6 year old son. In fact on the 9th December we remembered four years since his sudden passing. It’s not a subject I find much humour in but do carry on being snide. I’m not sure why you have come on here for the...

My cholesterol is in the healthy “green” zone, a little bit of butter is okay for you and I have eaten 2 crumpets in 18 months. I am fit and healthy and eat a mainly pescatarian and Mediterranean diet with no sweets or desserts. I think I’ll be just fine.

80 LDL. Yours?

I had a poached egg on one once. It was wrong. The textures don’t marry well.

Lime marmalade. Fantastic call.

See you in court.

Do you genuinely have that? I know some people’s is triggered by crumpets. Not me though, I love the buttery little buggers.

Hadn’t had them for a while but got some tonight. Is there much better with a brew? Now I like mine simple. Just shy of burnt and absolutely pissing in butter. Simple question: What do you have on your crumpets? Night shift, bored.